ACT 4. SCENE II. A prison. Enter ROSCOE, BARNEY, and Judge, in gowns; and the Watch, with JOHN BOY and OTIS ROSCOE Is our whole group here and ready? BARNEY O, a stool and a cushion fer the judge. Judge Which ones is the culprits? ROSCOE That’d be me and my pardner Barney. BARNEY No judge, we ain’t the culprits, we’re the constables. Judge But which are the offenders that are to be examined? let them come before this here honorable court. ROSCOE I’ll do the honors judge. What is yer name, friend? OTIS Otis. ROSCOE Barney, write down, Otis. And yorn, good neighbor? JOHN BOY Most folks jus’ call me John boy. ROSCOE Write down, master gentleman John boy. Masters, are you both good Christians? JOHN BOY & OTIS Yea, sir, we hope. ROSCOE Write down that they admit to bein’ good Christians. Neighbors, it is proved already that you are little better than horse thieves; How do yuins answer to that? JOHN BOY We ain’t no such a thang! ROSCOE I’ll be a repeatin’ myself. We’re a thinkin’ ya’ll are no bettern stinkin’ horse thieves. OTIS No we ain’t no horse thieves. ROSCOE Write down, they say they ain’t no stinkin’ horse thieves. Judge Master constable, call forth the watch and see whut they got to say. ROSCOE Pine Mountain Watch! Front and centered. First Watchman This man said, sir, that that thar Butch, Cap’n Jethro’s brother, was a villain. ROSCOE Write down Butch is a villain. Why, this is flat perjury, to call Cap’n Jethro’s brother villain. OTIS Master constable,-- ROSCOE Watch out now, I’m not a likin’ the way you’re a lookin’ at me. Judge What else did they say? Second Watchman That sorry Bald Knobber then said that Butch accused Miss Daisy wrongly, sayin’ that she was a smoochin’ with the wrong man. ROSCOE Horse thief! Horse thief! BARNEY Git a rope! Judge What else, fulla? First Watchman He was a sayin’ that they done fooled Mr. Abner into disgracin’ Miss Daisy in front o the whole weddin’ assembly and not to be a marryin’ her. ROSCOE You better be a dressin’ cool fella, fer where you’re a goin! Judge Tarnation! What else? Watchman That’s about hit, yer honor. Judge Afore ya’ll done got here, I wast tol’ that Butch has done snuck off and left the county. I also foun out that that thar precious, innocent Miss Daisy has done died from grief. Therefore, we’ll be a tyin’ these here moonshiners up and a brangin’ ‘em over ta Jedediah’s and show him whut we done found out. Roscoe: Bind up these here critters. We’s off ta Jedediah’s.
Enter ROSCOE, BARNEY, and Judge, in gowns; and the Watch, with JOHN BOY and OTIS
ROSCOE
Is our whole group here and ready?
BARNEY
O, a stool and a cushion fer the judge.
Judge
Which ones is the culprits?
ROSCOE
That’d be me and my pardner Barney.
BARNEY
No judge, we ain’t the culprits, we’re the constables.
Judge
But which are the offenders that are to be examined? let them come before this here honorable court.
ROSCOE
I’ll do the honors judge. What is yer name, friend?
OTIS
Otis.
ROSCOE
Barney, write down, Otis. And yorn, good neighbor?
JOHN BOY
Most folks jus’ call me John boy.
ROSCOE
Write down, master gentleman John boy. Masters, are you both good Christians?
JOHN BOY & OTIS
Yea, sir, we hope.
ROSCOE
Write down that they admit to bein’ good Christians. Neighbors, it is proved already that you are little better than horse thieves; How do yuins answer to that?
JOHN BOY
We ain’t no such a thang!
ROSCOE
I’ll be a repeatin’ myself. We’re a thinkin’ ya’ll are no bettern stinkin’ horse thieves.
OTIS
No we ain’t no horse thieves.
ROSCOE
Write down, they say they ain’t no stinkin’ horse thieves.
Judge
Master constable, call forth the watch and see whut they got to say.
ROSCOE
Pine Mountain Watch! Front and centered.
First Watchman
This man said, sir, that that thar Butch, Cap’n Jethro’s brother, was a villain.
ROSCOE
Write down Butch is a villain. Why, this is flat perjury, to call Cap’n Jethro’s brother villain.
OTIS
Master constable,--
ROSCOE
Watch out now, I’m not a likin’ the way you’re a lookin’ at me.
Judge
What else did they say?
Second Watchman
That sorry Bald Knobber then said that Butch accused Miss Daisy wrongly, sayin’ that she was a smoochin’ with the wrong man.
ROSCOE
Horse thief! Horse thief!
BARNEY
Git a rope!
Judge
What else, fulla?
First Watchman
He was a sayin’ that they done fooled Mr. Abner into disgracin’ Miss Daisy in front o the whole weddin’ assembly and not to be a marryin’ her.
ROSCOE
You better be a dressin’ cool fella, fer where you’re a goin!
Judge
Tarnation! What else?
Watchman
That’s about hit, yer honor.
Judge
Afore ya’ll done got here, I wast tol’ that Butch has done snuck off and left the county. I also foun out that that thar precious, innocent Miss Daisy has done died from grief. Therefore, we’ll be a tyin’ these here moonshiners up and a brangin’ ‘em over ta Jedediah’s and show him whut we done found out.
Roscoe: Bind up these here critters. We’s off ta Jedediah’s.
Exit