ACT 3. SCENE V. Front of JEDEDIAH'S house, day time. Enter JEDEDIAH, with ROSCOE and BARNEY (Rooster crows) JEDEDIAH What kin I be a doin’ fer you, neighbor? ROSCOE Me and my trusted colleage would like to talk atcha if’n you don’t mind. JEDEDIAH Make it fast, if’n ya don’t mind. I’m in dang big hurry, today. ROSCOE Here it is, Mr. Hogue, sir. BARNEY The whole truth, and nothin’ but the whole blamed truth. JEDEDIAH What is it, my good friends? ROSCOE Goodman Barney, sir, speaks a little off the matter: an old man, sir, and his wits are not so blunt as, God help him, I would desire they were; but,in faith, honest as the skin between his brows. BARNEY Yes, I spect I’m as honest a man as thar is in these here mountains. ROSCOE Hardly a man could compare to you in honesty, Barney. JEDEDIAH Neighbours, you are tedious. What do you want? ROSCOE Just let me say that it is an honor to be talkin’ to you, sir. If’n somebody wus to have tolt me that I’d a be a talkin’ to Jedediah Hogue on his daughter’s weddin’ day, well then I don’t know whut I’d a said. Therefore, I bestow all my tediousness on thee. JEDEDIAH All yer tediousness on me, ah? ROSCOE Yes sir, and e’en mor’n that if’n I had it, fer you’d be the one that deserves it, sir. BARNEY Whatever he said, I feel the same way. JEDEDIAH What do you want? BARNEY Last night’s watchmen apprehended a couple of sorry Bald knobbers as you ever seen. ROSCOE Excuse my deputy, senior, he don’t even know wher Bald Knob is. JEDEDIAH Indeed, neighbour, ain’t near as sharp as you appear to be. ROSCOE Gifts from God, your honor. JEDEDIAH I must leave you. ROSCOE But we’re a needin’ you to examine these two bad seeds which the night watch captured last night. JEDEDIAH Question them yourselves. I don’t have time fer this, now. Good day to ye both. ROSCOE You heard the man, Barney. We’re to examine these two heatherns ourselves. Back to the watchmen and the Bald Knobbers. Away!
Enter JEDEDIAH, with ROSCOE and BARNEY (Rooster crows)
JEDEDIAH
What kin I be a doin’ fer you, neighbor?
ROSCOE
Me and my trusted colleage would like to talk atcha if’n you don’t mind.
JEDEDIAH
Make it fast, if’n ya don’t mind. I’m in dang big hurry, today.
ROSCOE
Here it is, Mr. Hogue, sir.
BARNEY
The whole truth, and nothin’ but the whole blamed truth.
JEDEDIAH
What is it, my good friends?
ROSCOE
Goodman Barney, sir, speaks a little off the matter: an old man, sir, and his wits are not so blunt as, God help him, I would desire they were; but,in faith, honest as the skin between his brows.
BARNEY
Yes, I spect I’m as honest a man as thar is in these here mountains.
ROSCOE
Hardly a man could compare to you in honesty, Barney.
JEDEDIAH
Neighbours, you are tedious. What do you want?
ROSCOE
Just let me say that it is an honor to be talkin’ to you, sir. If’n somebody wus to have tolt me that I’d a be a talkin’ to Jedediah Hogue on his daughter’s weddin’ day, well then I don’t know whut I’d a said. Therefore, I bestow all my tediousness on thee.
JEDEDIAH
All yer tediousness on me, ah?
ROSCOE
Yes sir, and e’en mor’n that if’n I had it, fer you’d be the one that deserves it, sir.
BARNEY
Whatever he said, I feel the same way.
JEDEDIAH
What do you want?
BARNEY
Last night’s watchmen apprehended a couple of sorry Bald knobbers as you ever seen.
ROSCOE
Excuse my deputy, senior, he don’t even know wher Bald Knob is.
JEDEDIAH
Indeed, neighbour, ain’t near as sharp as you appear to be.
ROSCOE
Gifts from God, your honor.
JEDEDIAH
I must leave you.
ROSCOE
But we’re a needin’ you to examine these two bad seeds which the night watch captured last night.
JEDEDIAH
Question them yourselves. I don’t have time fer this, now. Good day to ye both.
ROSCOE
You heard the man, Barney. We’re to examine these two heatherns ourselves. Back to the watchmen and the Bald Knobbers. Away!