ACT 3. SCENE II. A room in JEDEDIAH'S house Enter JETHRO, ABNER, BUBBA, and JEDEDIAH JETHRO Abner, after yer weddin’, I’ma gonna head back home. ABNER I’m just a hopin’ that you’ll stand up fer me as my best man, Jethro. JETHRO I’d be proud and honored to be a doin’ that fer ya. Heck yeah! Say, after I’m a gone, you’ll have ta be a keepin’ an eye on ol’ Bubba as it appears he’s mighty in love. I never seed anybody catch a case of the love bugs as bad as him. (Bubba enters and the group spies as he primps.) BUBBA You sorry buzzards! You might as well be a knowin’ that I ain’t no more like I have been. JEDEDIAH I’d agree. I thank yore worst. ABNER I hope he be in love. JETHRO Not Bubba! He’s tol’ me many o' times what there ain’t no woman in these here mountains good enuff fer him. BUBBA Well, a real man admits when he’s wrong. ABNER Face it my friend. You be “In Love!” JEDEDIAH Yuin’s know whut? I’ma thankin’ ol’ Bubba here is a lookin’ younger than he did yesterdy. JETHRO I don’t know about that, but he sure smells a heap perdier. ABNER Love all right. BUBBA Jedidiah, can I talk to you in private? I’ma needin’ to ast you some questions, and it ain’t none o' these boys business whut I got to say. Exit BUBBA and JEDEDIAH JETHRO I spect he wants to talk to ol’ Jedediah about Violet. ABNER Yep, that channel cat swallowed the whole bait. Enter BUTCH BUTCH Howdy fellas, I’ma needin’ to talk to you two. JETHRO Howdy, Butch, what’s got you so stirred up? BUTCH Is this bein’ a good time to talk to you about somethin’ important? JETHRO In private? BUTCH No, it’s Abner whut needs to hear this mor’n anybody. It mostly concerns him. JETHRO What's the matter? BUTCH [To ABNER] You still plan on marryin’ tomorrow? JETHRO You know he does. BUTCH I don’t know if’n he does after he hears whut I got to say. ABNER If they be some kind o problem, what is it? BUTCH We may have had our problems in the past, but that don’t mean I don’t keer about whut happens to you. JETHRO Why, what's the matter? BUTCH I’ma jus’ gonna come out an’ say it. That Fiancee o yorn is unfaithful Abner. ABNER Who, DAISY? JETHRO Even she; JEDEDIAH’s DAISY, your DAISY, every man's DAISY: ABNER Unfaithful! You better be sure about what yer a knowin’ about my Daisy. BUTCH A pitcher is worth a 1000 words. If’n you’ll come with me right now, we jus’ might kin catch her in the act. I’ll explain on the way whut’s goin’ on. JETHRO I don’t believe it and I won’t believe it lessin’ I be a seein’ it with my own two eyeballs. BUTCH Well I don’t expect yuins to believe me. That’s why I’ma fixin’ ta show you what I’ma talkin’ about. ABNER If what yer a tellin’ me is true, then I swar I’ll call her on it durin’ the ceremony tomorry, right thar in front of the whole mountain. You better be a lyin’, Butch. JETHRO And, since I helped you snag ‘er, if what Butch is a sayin’ is true, then I’ll help you shame her tomorrow at the weddin’. BUTCH I’ll not say another word about it. I’ll let her unfaithfulness speak for itself. JETHRO I sure hope yer wrong, Butch. ABNER Take me to her, Butch, afore I explode from the inside. BUTCH It’ll hurt tonight, but you’ll be a thankin’ me tomorrow. Foller me. Exit
Enter JETHRO, ABNER, BUBBA, and JEDEDIAH
JETHRO
Abner, after yer weddin’, I’ma gonna head back home.
ABNER
I’m just a hopin’ that you’ll stand up fer me as my best man, Jethro.
JETHRO
I’d be proud and honored to be a doin’ that fer ya. Heck yeah! Say, after I’m a gone, you’ll have ta be a keepin’ an eye on ol’ Bubba as it appears he’s mighty in love. I never seed anybody catch a case of the love bugs as bad as him.
(Bubba enters and the group spies as he primps.)
BUBBA
You sorry buzzards! You might as well be a knowin’ that I ain’t no more like I have been.
JEDEDIAH
I’d agree. I thank yore worst.
ABNER
I hope he be in love.
JETHRO
Not Bubba! He’s tol’ me many o' times what there ain’t no woman in these here mountains good enuff fer him.
BUBBA
Well, a real man admits when he’s wrong.
ABNER
Face it my friend. You be “In Love!”
JEDEDIAH
Yuin’s know whut? I’ma thankin’ ol’ Bubba here is a lookin’ younger than he did yesterdy.
JETHRO
I don’t know about that, but he sure smells a heap perdier.
ABNER
Love all right.
BUBBA
Jedidiah, can I talk to you in private? I’ma needin’ to ast you some questions, and it ain’t none o' these boys business whut I got to say.
Exit BUBBA and JEDEDIAH
JETHRO
I spect he wants to talk to ol’ Jedediah about Violet.
ABNER
Yep, that channel cat swallowed the whole bait.
Enter BUTCH
BUTCH
Howdy fellas, I’ma needin’ to talk to you two.
JETHRO
Howdy, Butch, what’s got you so stirred up?
BUTCH
Is this bein’ a good time to talk to you about somethin’ important?
JETHRO
In private?
BUTCH
No, it’s Abner whut needs to hear this mor’n anybody. It mostly concerns him.
JETHRO
What's the matter?
BUTCH
[To ABNER] You still plan on marryin’ tomorrow?
JETHRO
You know he does.
BUTCH
I don’t know if’n he does after he hears whut I got to say.
ABNER
If they be some kind o problem, what is it?
BUTCH
We may have had our problems in the past, but that don’t mean I don’t keer about whut happens to you.
JETHRO
Why, what's the matter?
BUTCH
I’ma jus’ gonna come out an’ say it. That Fiancee o yorn is unfaithful Abner.
ABNER
Who, DAISY?
JETHRO
Even she; JEDEDIAH’s DAISY, your DAISY, every man's DAISY:
ABNER
Unfaithful! You better be sure about what yer a knowin’ about my Daisy.
BUTCH
A pitcher is worth a 1000 words. If’n you’ll come with me right now, we jus’ might kin catch her in the act. I’ll explain on the way whut’s goin’ on.
JETHRO
I don’t believe it and I won’t believe it lessin’ I be a seein’ it with my own two eyeballs.
BUTCH
Well I don’t expect yuins to believe me. That’s why I’ma fixin’ ta show you what I’ma talkin’ about.
ABNER
If what yer a tellin’ me is true, then I swar I’ll call her on it durin’ the ceremony tomorry, right thar in front of the whole mountain. You better be a lyin’, Butch.
JETHRO
And, since I helped you snag ‘er, if what Butch is a sayin’ is true, then I’ll help you shame her tomorrow at the weddin’.
BUTCH
I’ll not say another word about it. I’ll let her unfaithfulness speak for itself.
JETHRO
I sure hope yer wrong, Butch.
ABNER
Take me to her, Butch, afore I explode from the inside.
BUTCH
It’ll hurt tonight, but you’ll be a thankin’ me tomorrow. Foller me.
Exit