ACT 2. SCENE II. In Front of Jedediah's House. Enter BUTCH and OTIS BUTCH Well I be; ABNER will marry JEDEDIAH’s daughter. OTIS Don’t let appearances fool ye. I thanks I got an idie that can stop that marriage flat. BUTCH Otis, anythang you kin do to cross that marriage would be music to my dad blamed ears. I am sick at my stomach with Abner, Daisy, Jethro and the whole lot o' them. Anythang to squash that marriage would be pure medicine to whatsa ailin’ me. How bout you tell me what’s up them sleaves o' yorn? OTIS It’ll be ugly to see, Butch, but I guarantee that Abner ain’t never gonna have anythang to do with Jedidiah’s daughter after he sees what I gots to show him tonight. BUTCH Go on,now. Don’t be a teasin’ me. OTIS Do you recollect when I tol’ you bout how Daisy’s friend, Beulah, only has eyes fer me. BUTCH I remember. OTIS Any time o any night I want, Beulah will sneak out to meet me wherever I say. BUTCH What’s that got ta do with Abner and Daisy’s Marriage? OTIS You jess head on over to Jethro’s and be a tellin’ him and Abner that Daisy is a low lying skin flint who done Abner wrong by sparkin’ non other that this ol’ boy, Otis. BUTCH They sure as heck ain’t a gonno believe a tale that tall. Err you goofy or what? OTIS Butch, they’ll believe whut they done seed with they’re onliest two eyeballs. Ba thundas, when we’re a finished with Jethro and Abner, they’ll look like the biggest fools in these here hills, and Abner and Daisy ain’t a never gonna git hitched. BUTCH I’ll bite on this. What’s our plan, boy? OTIS Go, find Jethro and ABNER ; tell them that you know that DAISY loves me; Convince ‘em that the onliest reason yer a tellin’ ‘em is to protect innocent Abner from that witch and to protect Jethro’s honor. They will scarcely believe this without eye witness proof: Bring ‘em by my winder jus after Midnight, and I’ll be a smootchin’ on Beulah and a callin’ her Daisy whiles’t she’s a warin’ a wig makin’ her the spittin’ image o' Daisy and she’ll be a callin’ me ABNER! Haw! Haw! Haw! BUTCH Haw! Haw! Otis, if’n this works, I’ll be a makin’ it worth yer while, fer dang shur! Haw! OTIS You do yer part, and I’ll be a doin’ mine, and we’ll squash this weddin’ flat. Haw! Haw! BUTCH Let’s git thangs, ready! Haw! Haw! Haw! Exit
Enter BUTCH and OTIS
BUTCH
Well I be; ABNER will marry JEDEDIAH’s daughter.
OTIS
Don’t let appearances fool ye. I thanks I got an idie that can stop that marriage flat.
BUTCH
Otis, anythang you kin do to cross that marriage would be music to my dad blamed ears. I am sick at my stomach with Abner, Daisy, Jethro and the whole lot o' them. Anythang to squash that marriage would be pure medicine to whatsa ailin’ me. How bout you tell me what’s up them sleaves o' yorn?
OTIS
It’ll be ugly to see, Butch, but I guarantee that Abner ain’t never gonna have anythang to do with Jedidiah’s daughter after he sees what I gots to show him tonight.
BUTCH
Go on,now. Don’t be a teasin’ me.
OTIS
Do you recollect when I tol’ you bout how Daisy’s friend, Beulah, only has eyes fer me.
BUTCH
I remember.
OTIS
Any time o any night I want, Beulah will sneak out to meet me wherever I say.
BUTCH
What’s that got ta do with Abner and Daisy’s Marriage?
OTIS
You jess head on over to Jethro’s and be a tellin’ him and Abner that Daisy is a low lying skin flint who done Abner wrong by sparkin’ non other that this ol’ boy, Otis.
BUTCH
They sure as heck ain’t a gonno believe a tale that tall. Err you goofy or what?
OTIS
Butch, they’ll believe whut they done seed with they’re onliest two eyeballs. Ba thundas, when we’re a finished with Jethro and Abner, they’ll look like the biggest fools in these here hills, and Abner and Daisy ain’t a never gonna git hitched.
BUTCH
I’ll bite on this. What’s our plan, boy?
OTIS
Go, find Jethro and ABNER ; tell them that you know that DAISY loves me; Convince ‘em that the onliest reason yer a tellin’ ‘em is to protect innocent Abner from that witch and to protect Jethro’s honor. They will scarcely believe this without eye witness proof: Bring ‘em by my winder jus after Midnight, and I’ll be a smootchin’ on Beulah and a callin’ her Daisy whiles’t she’s a warin’ a wig makin’ her the spittin’ image o' Daisy and she’ll be a callin’ me ABNER! Haw! Haw! Haw!
BUTCH
Haw! Haw! Otis, if’n this works, I’ll be a makin’ it worth yer while, fer dang shur! Haw!
OTIS
You do yer part, and I’ll be a doin’ mine, and we’ll squash this weddin’ flat. Haw! Haw!
BUTCH
Let’s git thangs, ready! Haw! Haw! Haw!
Exit