FinalAct2Scene1

//Enter JEDEDIAH, ALVIN, DAISY, VIOLET, and others // **JEDEDIAH ** Tweren’t Cap’n Jethro’s brother Butch here at supper? **ALVIN ** I aint seed nary a sight nor sound o' him, brother. **VIOLET ** Somethin’ about that guy, just gives me the heevy jeevies. **DAISY ** He does go ‘round all the time like someone done went an shot his fav-o-rite coon dog. **VIOLET ** He’s about the onliest man around these parts that makes Bubba Washburn look good. **JEDEDIAH ** Come on Violet, Bubba’s not all that bad. What git’s yer goat ever time Bubba walks by? **VIOLET ** The onliest good quality in any man is his money, and that includes yer good ol’ boy, Bubba Washburn. **JEDEDIAH ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">What in the world are weun’s goin’ to do with you. We aint never gonna catch you a husband with a mouth like yorn. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">ALVIN ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">She’s too ornery! That’s fer danged sure! **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">VIOLET ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">I am too ornery for any man and I don’t want any of these here men fer nothin’ in the world. <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">If’n I catch one with a beard, then I won’t kiss ‘em. And I catch one without a beard, then I won’t know whut to do with ‘em. One that’s got a beard is more than a boy, and one that ain’t got one is less than a man; and him what’s more than a boy ain’t fer me, and him what’s less than a man, I ain’t fer him. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">ALVIN ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">[To DAISY] Well, niece, I trust **__you’ll__** do as yer pappy tells ya’ tonight. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">VIOLET **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;"> (TO DAISY) <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Now Daisy, when it comes to gittin’ hitched, you marry the one that you want, not the one your pa fixes you up with. Are you a hearin’ me girl? **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JEDEDIAH **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;"> (TO VIOLET) <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Well, niece, I’m a hankerin’ to see you hitched yerself one day. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">VIOLET ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Not till God makes man out of somethin’ othern dirt. When He does that, then maybe I’ll pay more attention! **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JEDEDIAH **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;"> (LOOKS TO DAISY) <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Daughter, remember what I done told you: if the Cap’n woos you like I thank he will, you know what to say? Right? **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">VIOLET ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Daisy, you make fer certain ever thangs the way you want it before you say “Yessum” to any o these misfits! Are you a hearin’ me girl? **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JEDEDIAH ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Niece, yer about as sharp as a good huntin’ knife, ain’tcha? **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">VIOLET ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Yep, an I got a good eye too, Uncle; I can see a church by daylight. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JEDEDIAH ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Best make room fer everbody, brother. I can hear ‘em comin’ cross the crick a whoopin’ an a hollerin’. //<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">All put on their masks //<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px;">. //<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">Enter JETHRO, ABNER, BUBBA, ELVIS, BUTCH, OTIS, BEULAH, SALLY ANN and others, masked // **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JETHRO **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;"> (to Daisy) <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Hey, thar, would you be of a mind ta take a walk with me? //<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">Drawing her aside ////<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">(NOTE: During the dance, as each couple speaks, they dance to the front of the stage for their part) // **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">ELVIS ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">I’m a hopin’ that you’d be a likin’ me. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">BEULAH ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">You’d be skeedaddlin’ if’n I don’t, cause I got me a whole passel o’ faults. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">ELVIS ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Name just one. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">BEULAH ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Well, I say my prayers out loud. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">ELVIS ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">That’s haint no fault; that thar’s a good thang. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">BEULAH ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">I need a good dancer or I can’t dance atoll. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">ELVIS ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">At least, give me a try. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">BEULAH ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Well, I’m a guessin’ onc’t can’t hurt nuthin’ **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">ELVIS ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">YeeHahhhhhhhhhhhhh…….. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">SALLY ANN ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">I know that’s yuin’s under that mask, ALVIN. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">ALVIN ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Taint neither! **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">SALLY ANN ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">I know’d you by that thar giant head on them little bitty shoulders. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">ALVIN ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">I ain’t a lyin’- I ain’t Alvin! **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">SALLY ANN ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">I know your him, cause I’m a sittin’ down wind o you! **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">ALVIN ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Fer the last time, I ain’t neither! **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">SALLY ANN ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">I hoped to do better, but fer this dance, but I guess you’ll do. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">VIOLET ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Won’tcha be a tellin’ me who told you so? **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">BUBBA ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">No, I won’t. You’ll just have ta be a forgivin’ me. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">VIOLET ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Well, by thunder, at least tell me who you are. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">BUBBA ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Not now. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">VIOLET ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Yer about as bad as that thar Bubba Washburn. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">BUBBA ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Who's he? **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">VIOLET ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">I am sure you know him well enough. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">BUBBA ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">I reckon I don’t! **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">VIOLET ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Did he never make you laugh? **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">BUBBA ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">I done tole you, I don’t know the man. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">VIOLET ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Why, he is the village fool: a very dull fool; the only thing he’s good at is bad mouthin’ others; he ain’t even funny; he’s just mean; all men and women can barely tolerate the man, as soon as he walks away from ‘em, they just make fun of ‘em. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">BUBBA ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Well, I guess when I meet this man, I’ll be a tellin’ him what you said. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">VIOLET ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">You jes do that. He'll have some spitefull thangs to say about me, and then he’ll up and bore you to tears with one a his paint dryin’ stories he so likes to tell; and on top o that, hain’t none o them stories near ta bein’ true. //<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">Music // <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Great, now we gotta play foller the leader. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">BUBBA ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">I thank they’re a hollerin’ at me over thata way. //<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">Dance. Then exit all except BUTCH, OTIS, and ABNER // **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">BUTCH ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">It’s a truth fer shore. My brother is head over heals for Jedediah’s daughter Daisy and he’s a gonna pop the question tonight. He’s done already gone an got permission to marry her from Jedediah himself. She’ll be a makin’ me a fine sister and a good wife fer my brother, Jethro, I’m a thankin’. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">OTIS ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">He tol’e me the same thang, Butch. Congradulations! **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">BUTCH ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">You there, ain’t you Mr. Bubba? **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">ABNER ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">You shore must know me well to be a catchin me so soon! I be Bubba Washburn alright. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">BUTCH ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Bubba, I know you and my brother are close as a seed tick on a hound dog. Do you thank you could ask him fer me if’n I could walk Daisy down the aisle? **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">ABNER ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Air you shore he loves her? **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">BUTCH ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">I heard him double dog swear it this afternoon. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">OTIS ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">So did I too; and he swore he would marry her to-night. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">BUTCH ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Anyway, come on, let’s git back to the dancin’. //<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">Exit BUTCH and OTIS // **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">ABNER **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;"> (TALKING TO HIMSELF) <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">I had to pretend I was Bubba, so’s I could hear the truth from the Cap’ns brother, They wuz a thankin’ I was Bubba and didn’t know I was really ABNER. <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Now, my ears is afire with this most horrible news. Shore nuf, Cap’n Jethro wooes for himself. Friendship is a sure thang except when it comes to love an such. <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Well, I hope yer happy together Cap’n an Miss Daisy. <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Good riddance! Goodbye forever, Daisy. I’m glad to be shed o’ both o’ yuins. //<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">Re-enter BUBBA // **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">BUBBA ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Abner, is ‘at you? **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">ABNER ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">None t’other. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">BUBBA ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Come over here with me. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">ABNER ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Whar? **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">BUBBA ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">To see if the Cap’n hast got your Daisy. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">ABNER ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">I hope they’ll be a livin’ happily ever after. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">BUBBA ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">What? You gone crazy? Do you thank Cap’n Jethro would do you that way, after all weuns been through together? **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">ABNER ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Leave me alone, Bubba. I got two eyes, don’t I? //<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">Exit // **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">BUBBA ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">He’s actin’ mighty strange tonight. I don’t know what’s got inta him. But that Violet should know me, and not know me! The Village Idiot! Ha? I can’t help it if’n Im just a funny guy. Violet should be a knowin’ that **everbody** don’t make fun o me. They don’t. Do they? //<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">Re-enter JETHRO // **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JETHRO ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">You seen Abner? **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">BUBBA ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">I just spoke at the lovesick mule headed thata way and I thank I told him the truth in sayin’ that you had got a “Yes” from Daisy and a OK and a daury from Jedediah and that all thangs was hunky dory. But after I told him, he said some might pe-culiar stuff.. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JETHRO ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Well, I’ll be. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">BUBBA ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">It’s just a strange night all the way around. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JETHRO ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">By the way, that Violet is madder’n a wet hen at you. She said you had greatly wronged her tonight. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">BUBBA ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">By thunder, it was her that was a wrongin’ me. She told me, not thinking it was me, that I was Capn’ Jethro's jester, that I was more borin’ than watchin’ grass grow; she was a sayin’ that nobody likes me an’ that everbody makes fun o me behind my back. Ever word that heiffer says stabs like a knife. If her breath wuz as terrible as her words, there’d be no living with her! I would hope that some ole witch zaps her from the face o this earth as mean spiritedness follows her ever move. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JETHRO ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Woe, now! Speak o the devil and hyar she comes! //<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">Enter ABNER, VIOLET, DAISY, and JEDEDIAH // **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">BUBBA ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Cap’n, will you command me to vamos to any corner of the world? Missouri or Tennessee, I don’t much keer; Send me anywhar; even New York City; Anywhar but cheer! Aintcha got no whar to send me? **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JETHRO ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">No whar other than right cheer. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">BUBBA ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">No thanks, Capn’. I can’t stand that womern’s mouth! //<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">Exit // **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JETHRO ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Come, Miss Violet, come; you seem to have lost the heart o' Bubba. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">VIOLET ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">I thank yer right, Cap’n Jethro. It shore seems thata way. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JETHRO ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">You have put him down, Missy, you have put him down. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">VIOLET ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Well, all I kin say, is he’s been a askin’ fer it, and I’m the one what give it to him. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JETHRO ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Abner, whar you been, boy and what’s the sad look fer? **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">ABNER ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Not sad, sir. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JETHRO ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">What then? sick? **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">ABNER ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Neither, Cap’n. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">VIOLET ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Abner ain’t sad, or sick, or happy, or well. I don’t know what’s got inta him. He don’t hardly speak atall. He ain’t rude, mind ya, he jes don’t say hardly nuthin’. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JETHRO ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">I thank yer right, Violet; I may have a remedy that’ll be a fixin’ this mess. Here, ABNER, I have wooed in yer name, and fair DAISY is yorn: I have spoke with her father, and got his say so and Daisy is happier' n a old sow at the slop trough. You just name the hitchin’ day. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JEDEDIAH ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Abner, you go marry up with my daughter. I’ll be right proud to be a callin’ you, son. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">VIOLET ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Cat got yer tongue, Abner? Say somethin’! **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">ABNER ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Daisy, yore a mine and I’m a yorn fer ever ‘n’ ever, ifn you’ll have me. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">VIOLET ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Well, Daisy, either answer him or kiss him, one o the two. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JETHRO ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Well Violet, it appears you have a heart after all, in spite o' what everbody else thanks. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">VIOLET ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Well, don’t tell nobody. I don’t bring it out too often. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">ABNER ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">She sure nuff does, Capn’. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">VIOLET ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Ya’ll are about to ware me out with all this romantic love talk; I’ll not be a sittin’ in a corner and cryin’ heigh-ho for no husband! **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JETHRO ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Miss Violet, I will get you one. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">VIOLET ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Thanks, but no thanks, Jethro. That thar’s the last dad blamed thang on my mind. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JETHRO ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Will you marry **me**, Violet? **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">VIOLET ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Thanks fer the offer, Jethro, but I don’t wanna be married to no Cap’n. That ain’t fer me. Sorry, but I grew up a sayin’ what’s on my mind. Nothin’ personal. It ain’t you, It’s me. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JETHRO ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">That’s OK, I was afeared fer a minute, you might say yes! **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JEDEDIAH ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Niece, can you be a takin’ keer o' them thangs I was a talkin’ to you about? **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">VIOLET ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Yessum’, Uncle Jed, Night, Cap’n Jethro. //<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">Exit // **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JETHRO ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">You know, Jedediah, that Violet is really sumthin’, ain’t she? **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JEDEDIAH ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">She is a tangle, that’s fer sure an’ certain, Jethro. She’s the onliest girl I know that can be sad all day, go to bed sad, dream about bein’ sad, and wake up a laughin’. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JETHRO ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">She jes can’t stand the idie of a husband. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JEDEDIAH ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">She would chew up and spit out a gentleman caller like a used up dip o' Copenhagen. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JETHRO ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">She were a perfect wife fer Bubba Washburn. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JEDEDIAH ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Haw! Haw! They’d be done drove each other crazy side of a week’s time! Don’t know which’n would a kilt the other first! **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JETHRO ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">ABNER, when’s the big day fer you and Daisy? **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">ABNER ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">To-morry, Jethro if that’d be alright with you Jedediah. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JEDEDIAH ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Slow down, boy! Y’all gotta wait ‘til Mundy ‘cause we’ll be a needin’ some time to get thangs ready. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JETHRO ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Don’t be a worryin’ Abner, I got me an idie that will make the time go by quickern a Texas jack rabbit. With the hep of all y’all, I plan to undertake a job that’d make Paul Bunyan proud. We’re a gonna hep Bubba and Violet up into a mountain of love that will make the Ozarks look like a dog tick on ol’ Blue’s nose. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JEDEDIAH ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">I’m in, even if it costs me three days o' work. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">ABNER ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Count me in too, Jethro. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JETHRO ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">How ‘bout you, DAISY? **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">DAISY ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Anything to help my cousin ketch a good husband. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JETHRO ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">Let’s face it. Bubba and Violet are two fine people. They jes need some direction in this here life. They both be too proud to be honest with themselves. They’ll be a thankin’ us when this is over, if’n they don’t kill us first. If'n we can do this, that thar Cupid ain’t gonna have no job no more! C’mon in and I will tell you my idie. //<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">Exit //
 * <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">ACT 2. SCENE I. In Front of JEDEDIAH'S house. **