FinalAct2Scene3

//Enter BUBBA // **BUBBA ** I jus’ ain’t believin’ how Abner kin jus’ lose all o' his good sense in one day. Ever since I know'd him, him and me has seen eye to eye when it comes to women. He, out a all people ought to understand that one woman ain’t never enuff for any man. Wher did I go wrong. It twernt that long ago when you could count on Abner to have yer back in a fight. Ta go fishin’ or huntin’ with ya at the drop of a hat. I remember when he’d walk five miles just to see a new litter of bird dogs. Why nobody in these here parts is half as good with a gun as Abner. And now, what’s to become o' that ol’ boy. He’s spendin’ his time writin’ love letters and a warin’ his Sundy shoes. If’n you wast to tell me that a woman coulda wrapped that boy around her little panky and pulled him around by that big ol’ nose o' his, I’d a calt you a big fat lar! One woman is perty, I understand; another is smart, I’m OK with that, too, another pure as the driven snow, that’s a fine quality, too; but till all good qualities be in one woman, one woman shall never catch Bubba Washburn. (pause) Rich she must be, that's certain; wise, or I can’t stand to be around her; perty, or I'll never look at her; sweet, or come not near me, be able to play the banjo or fiddle, that’d be nice, and her hair shall be of what colour it please God. Ha! Cap’n Jethro and Monsieur Love! I’ll hide afor they be a seein’ me. //Withdraws // //Enter JETHRO, ABNER, and JEDEDIAH // **JETHRO ** Come, sang us a song, Elvis? **ABNER ** I’ll say it is a perty day fer some music. **JETHRO ** See you whar Bubba hast done hid? //Enter ELVIS with Music // **JETHRO ** Come, Elvis, we'll hear that song again. **ELVIS ** Shucks, Cap’n, don’t make me sang agin. You know I can’t really sang. **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JETHRO ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">Don’t be that way, Elvis. I tell everbody I see, “That Elvis is one dang good sanger!” **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">ELVIS ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">Well, don’t say I didn’t warn ye, here goes nuthin’. **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">BUBBA ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">Please don’t be one o them darn love songs. Anythang but that. //<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">The Song // **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">ELVIS ** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">Listen ladies, gather 'round <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">Men aint nuthin' but liars. <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">If'n ya try to sweet talk them <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">They'll tangle ya up like briars. <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">They caint never make up thar minds <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">Don't matter if yer ugly or purty. <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">So blow your nose an wipe yor eyes <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">An' call 'em somethin' dirty. <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">Pine no more, I say pine no more <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">'Cuz fellers is rotten and mean. <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">It's been that way since they wuz made; <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 1pt;">A goodern I aint nerver seen. **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JETHRO ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">What did I tell ye. Dang good job, Elvis. We appreciate it. **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">ELVIS ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">I tol’ you I twernt no sanger. **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JETHRO ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">You done good, Elvis. **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">BUBBA ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">If’n he’d been a dog that howled that bad, they’d done hanged him. //<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">Exit ELVIS // <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">Now what were you a sayin’, JEDEDIAH. What was it you told me the other day, that your niece Violet was in love with Mr. Bubba? **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">ABNER ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">I woulda never believed that that woman would be in love with any man. **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JEDEDIAH ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">No, no, I neither; but ain’t it most peculiar that she would fall in love with Bubba Washburn who she pretends to hate like a two headed mule. **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">ABNER ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">Is't possible? **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JEDEDIAH ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">From what I heerd, she’s got it bad fer Bubba. **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JETHRO ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">Maybe the whole thang is just a lie? **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JEDEDIAH ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">I say NO WAY, Jethro, that girl possesses the most passion of any woman I ever met. **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JETHRO ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">Why, what effects of passion does she show? **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">ABNER ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">Bait the hook well; this fish will bite. **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JEDEDIAH ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">What effects, Cap’n? You tell me, you heerd my daughter tell you how. **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">ABNER ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">She shore did. **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JETHRO ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">I can’t believe whut you jus’ tol’ me. That’s AMAZING! **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">BUBBA ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">I should thank this be a trick, but ol’ Pappy Jedediah always speaks the truth. **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">ABNER ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">He’s a fallin’ for it, don’t stop now. **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JETHRO ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">Jedediah, hast Violet done tol’ Bubba how much she loves him? **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JEDEDIAH ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">Heck No; and swars she never will: that thar’s her torment. **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">ABNER ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">'Tis true, indeed; even Daisy tells me that Violet says she'd sher nuff die if’n Bubba finds out. **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JEDEDIAH ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">Beulah done tol’ me that Violet sits up in her bed ever night, tryin’ to write Bubba a letter to tell him, but just can’t do it. **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">ABNER ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">He probly couldn’t read it a anyway. **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JEDEDIAH ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">After she writes the letter, my daughter says Violet tears it into 1000 pieces. **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">ABNER ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">Then down upon her knees she falls, weeps, sobs,beats her heart, tears her hair, prays, curses; "O sweet Bubba! Why can’t I tell you that I love you?” **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JEDEDIAH ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">She dost indeed; my daughter says so.  **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JETHRO ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">It would be a shame if Bubba was ta find out about it from someone else, other than Violet.  **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">ABNER ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">No matter who he finds out from, he’d jus’ make fun o' her and move on. **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JETHRO ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">That would be a shame, cause she’s deep down a good, sweet lady, fit for a king. **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">ABNER ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">Smart too! **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JETHRO ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">Smart about everthang but cept lovin’ Bubba. **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">ABNER ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">Daisy thanks surely she will die; for she says she will die, if he don’t love her back, and she will die, if’n she make her love known, and she will die, if he woos her. Therefore, she will jus’ keep actin’ like she hates him. **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JETHRO ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">I can’t say as I blame her. He would jus’ scorn her. He is disagreeable, honory, moody as a mockin’ bird. **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">ABNER ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">But, he does have him some potential. **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JETHRO ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">He looks good. **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">ABNER ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">He is perty intelligient. **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JETHRO ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">He can be good fer a good laugh er two. **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">ABNER ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">And he ain’t afeerd o nuthin’. **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JETHRO ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">Yer right fer sure. Bubba does have him a passle o good qualities. Well I fer one am sorry fer your niece. Should we go find Bubba, and tell him of her love? **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">ABNER ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">Jethro, we can’t never tell ‘im. It’s jus’ not our place to. Out of respect for that lovely Violet. **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JEDEDIAH ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">I jus’ hope she tells him afor it’s too late. **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JETHRO ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">Bubba’s a great guy, but I wish he could see how much he has done hurt such a good person. **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JEDEDIAH ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">Oh well Cap’n. It’s time to eat. Let’s go on in. Bubba and Violet are really none of our business, anyways. **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">ABNER ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">If he ain’t hooked, cleaned, and fried, then I don’t know how to catch fish. **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">JETHRO ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">Now let’s leave the rest to Daisy, Beulah, and Sally Ann. //<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">Exit JETHRO, ABNER, and JEDEDIAH // **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">BUBBA ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">[Coming forward] This can’t be no trick. They didn’t know I was a hid’n over there. They gots theys information from Daisy who wouldn’t lie. They seem to genuinely pity Violet: it. It must all be true. She must Love me! But why? I’m a thankin’ I might love her too. Now I been a hearin’ about what they was a sayin’ about me. You know, about how I been mean to Violet, and likes to make fun o' her and such, and how I always been one to like the ladies, and how I sher likes to go a huntin’ and fishin’ whenever I git a hankerin’. And I reckon I’m guilty o' makin’ fun o' men who gits themselves married when they catch a big case o' the stupids. I would imagine if’n I marry Violet, they’ll be a makin’ fun o' me fer all them hateful thangs I been a sayin’. But heck. Don’t a man change his mind some time? Sher, I know'd I done said that I’d rather die than take a wife, but when I said that, I didn’t know I’d live long enuff to git married. What does it matter whut them varmints say, anyways. Violet is what’s important. She is definitely perty, that thar’s fer sher. Smart, why she’d win a blue ribbon in smarts at the county fair, and funny, when she was a makin’ fun o' me at the party, I had to step behind the barn and privately laugh to myself. I thanks she’s a fine a woman as God ever did make. And I’ma sayin’, “the world must be peopled.”Here comes Violet. <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;"> O my goodness, she is a perty thang: I thank I do spy some marks of love in her. //<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">Enter VIOLET // **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">VIOLET ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">Against my will I am sent to ast you to come in an’ eat. **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">BUBBA ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">Sweet Violet, I thank you for yer trouble. **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">VIOLET ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">It twernt no trouble, Bubba, if’n it twer trouble, I wouldn’t a come. **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">BUBBA ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">Well then, did you enjoy comin’ to git me? **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">VIOLET ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">Why sher, as much enjoyment as you’ll take upone this knife’s point. What’s the matter with you? Ain’t you hungry? I’ll be a seein’ you inside after I visit the outhouse, yunder. //<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">Exit // **<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px;">BUBBA ** <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt;">Ha! 'Against my will I am sent to ast you to come in an’ eat;' thar's a double meanin’ in that. “It twernt no trouble, Bubba, if’n it twer trouble, I wouldn’t a come.” Well, it’s as plain as the nose on yer face. The girl is horribly in love with me, and I’m horribly in love with her, too! YeeeeeeeeHaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 * <span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 18px;">ACT 2. SCENE III. Front of Jedediah's House. **